Best. Wedding Vows. Ever.

We wrote our own vows... and they might just be the best thing you've ever heard!

Rick's Vows to Molly

Will you take Molly to be your wife?
Will you love her and keep her the rest of your life?

I will gladly take Molly to be my wife.
And I promise to love her for the rest of my life.

Will you cherish her? Will you hold her tight?
At the crack of dawn? In the dead of the night?

I will cherish and hold her with all of my might,
From early each morning 'til late every night.

Will you honor her for all that she is?
Your smart, funny, girl who's an animal whiz?

I will honor her for all that she is,
Even though she won't stop using things marked as "his!"

Will you protect her from all dangers in sight,
'specially when camping, and jogging, and riding a bike?

I will strive to protect her when nature attacks,
Be it cockroaches, zombies, or menacing bats.

Will you stay faithful in times hard and glad,
Through flat tires and roof leaks and plumbing gone bad?

I will stay faithful in times sad and happy,
Regardless of hardships, no matter how crappy!

Whether richer or poorer, will you be true?
What if her tax returns are way past due?

In richer or poorer, I will stay true,
I'll file all the taxes...I think I'll have to!

Will you stand by her whether she's healthy or not?
What if her new figure goes straight to pot?

I'll love her forever... healthy or not,
Besides, thick or thin, this chick's smokin' hot.

Molly's Vows to Rick

Will you take Rick to be your man?
Will you love him always — the best that you can?

I will take Rick to be my man,
and I will always love him the best that I can.

Will you love him whether he's rich or he's poor?
And when he's left his old socks on the floor?

I will love him the same whether he's rich or poor
Even if he keeps leaving his socks on the floor.

Will you warm him up when there is no heat?
No matter how he's left the toilet seat?

I know being chilly may make him frown
So I will not nag him to put the seat down.

And if he's angry and being a pill?
And when he's entirely over the hill?

I will love him when his mood his ill,
and even when his head is balder still.

Will you make him smile when he is sad?
Even though he's begun to look just like his Dad?

I will do my best to make him smile,
And I'll always be partial to Sapir guys' style

And in the event of the zombie apocalypse,
And when he polishes off all the salsa and taco chips,
And whether you're well and whether you're sick,
Will you stand by his side through thin and through thick?

I will be true to him when the zombies attack,
And I'll still be his girl if he eats the last snack.
And whether I'm hearty and healthy or sick,
I will always be his.